Reaching The Heart Ministries
![]() |
|
|
Testimonies are from real persons
and real events that happen in their lives. All names have
been changed to protect privacy.
“Two
Hearts Open To Love”
Mac and Ellie had struggled for years in their
marriage. Growing up, Mac had never felt loved by either of
his parents and felt rejection from his father who
constantly put him down. For as long as he could remember,
he had experienced feelings of anger, resentment and
rebellion. While in junior high, he was introduced to
pornography by some neighborhood friends. Because it seemed
to minimize his inner feelings of pain, he was immediately
attracted to it and found himself spending hours focusing on
the mental images.
In stark contrast, Ellie was raised in a very godly
Christian home where each member of the family was deeply
committed to the Lord. Her parents’ goal to make their
family a model turned into a pride of believing themselves
to be the godliest family in the church. This pressure
caused Ellie to cover up some of her inner failures. She
became a hypocrite, pretending she had no problems.
Mac and Ellie met in their church youth group and
fell in love. Mac’s commitment to Christ attracted Ellie but
she was unaware of his moral problem. During their dating
years, Mac pressured her into a premarital physical
relationship. She reluctantly responded, only to be
overwhelmed by guild. It wasn’t until after they were
married that Ellie learned of Mac’s addiction to
pornography. In spite of her appeals for him to quit, Mac
secretly continued his habit. Ellie felt angry and
frustrated. It became increasingly difficult for her to
respond to her husband. She felt as though she was being
compared to the perfect models of women in pornography and
felt dirty and worthless.
One day a special speaker at church spoke on the
importance of emotional intimacy in marriage. He shared that
a husband involved in pornography cannot emotionally love
his wife above a 3% level. Mac turned to his wife asking if
that was true and, with Ellie’s agreement, he understood
that she had felt that way for their entire fifteen years of
marriage. He immediately wanted to know how to get free.
Later, he acknowledged each area of moral failure. He
confessed the pornography, the hidden desires, and the
hypocrisy of pretending that everything was fine when his
heart was filled with immoral desires. He then apologized to
his wife and asked for her forgiveness. In opening his heart
to his wife, he felt a freedom he had never before
experienced.
His wife, on the other hand, was unable to respond
because of her bitterness toward him for the damage done to
her and the children. He had destroyed her dream of a godly
family, as her family had been. As she faced her bitterness,
she began to acknowledge the emotional walls she had built
against her husband, yet, she still could not emotionally
respond. She asked the Lord to reveal what was blocking her
from responding. She had been blind to two problems. In
trying to pretend that there was no problem in the family,
she had fallen into the same hypocrisy that her parents had
demonstrated. Also she had tried to control Mac through
pride. As soon as those strongholds were resolved, she felt
loneliness deep inside. Her heart was open and she was
longing to respond to her husband, especially now that he
had allowed the Spirit of God to cleanse his heart.
At home that evening, Ellie had a desire that had
been missing for fifteen years, a desire to be close to her
husband. She asked if she could sit close to him, feeling
she just needed to be with him. The realization hit them
that the barriers that had kept them apart were gone and,
for the first time, emotional intimacy could be enjoyed.
The next day at work, Mac was faced with a temptation
to focus his desires and thoughts on a lady who was
inappropriately dressed. He had no desire to even look, let
alone focus his thoughts on her. Instead, his desires and
thoughts went back to his wife and the emotional intimacy
they had just enjoyed. He didn’t want to destroy it or the
freedom he had experienced. Instead, he thanked God for the
peace and freedom he was cherishing.
Ellie’s excitement increased as she realized that her
husband’s desires were for her alone. Her heart opened even
wider as she reflected on the healing work of God. Now they
could be totally open to enjoy the oneness of marriage that
God designed for them. Note from Ellen: Again I was reminded Reaching The Heart Ministries is here to assist people who hurt. In our office both my husband and I are a part of the greatest miracle, we are privileged to witness new birth in Jesus Christ. The second greatest privilege is, when we watch a person come to freedom. We pledge our life to the broken hearted and we will care for them as long as is necessary. Write us on our secure e-mail contact page if you are struggling with issues. |
We are Here to Serve YOU! ![]() Mike & Ellen Stotts Our desire is that Biblical counseling be available, without cost to anyone who desires to come to freedom in Christ |
© 2009 by Reaching the Heart Ministries. Designed by Web Design by JB.